a { h e a r t } that { l o v e s } is always y o u n g

i hate people.
i hate feeling forgotten.
i hate all this nonsense consuming my life.
i hate this place.
i hate this set,
i did not finish because,
i am leaving.
i won't be back for awhile.

everything i wanted.
exactly what i hoped for.
a best friend.
but i still don't feel complete.

a hopeless romantic.
a loyal friend.
a good listener.
an advice guru.
and yet, still so lonely.
alright.
i'm happier today than i was yesterday.
and happier today than tomorrow.
and happier yesterday than the day before.
that made so much sense..
night y'all.

fighting with the shadows in your head
living up the same old moment
knowing you'd be better off instead
: john mayer, say
- - -
there are no words to quite explain what i am feeling right now.
no possible explanation for every emotion i go through each day.
anger or sadness.
this place has been a complete hell hole.
and i am walking alone.

how long has it been?
too long. too may wasted nights lying awake wishing for a fairytale.
wishing for a simple text from you.
hoping to see you the next day. and every day after that.
well here we are.
i have been telling myself that i am done.
and finally i am ready to tell you the same.
i'm done.
so done.
with wishing,
and waiting.
with hopelessly hoping.
i'm done pretending you care, you cared.
i'm done telling myself someday you will.
it was a miserable time.
you and i,
we will always be unfinished business.
and for now that is all we are.
all we will be for the time being.
sincerely.

i want a boyfriend.
i don't want to go to school.
i hate people.
xoxo

last week was awful.
and i don't expect much more from this week.
school begins in nine days.
nine.
that is ridiculous.
i have done nothing extraordinary this summer.
and i am on lockdown this week.
so...
cool. eff my life.
hurr we go.
another year in the halls of East high school.
hey, at least i'm not a freshman.
xoxoxo

the most common lie to ever come from the lips of a girl is "i'm fine"

so here we are.
less than one month left of summer.
haven't accomplished fearless.
not even close to first kiss.
but heck, i'm fifteen.
oh my it shifted. FML.

ABC All About Me Quiz!
 
WHAT TO DO:
Fill out these questions and make a new set called 'ABC About Me Quiz' Then tag 20 people. If I tagged you, please take this survey and repost it!
 

A – AVAILABLE: sadly, yes.
 
B – BIRTHDAY: july first
 
C - CRUSHING ON: no one right now. eff boys.
 
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: grape juice
 
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: @leave-before-the-dawn or my sister

F - FAVORITE BAND: coldplay

G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: bears
 
H – HOMETOWN: tha 801
 
I - IN LOVE WITH ANYONE: eh
 
K - KILLED SOMEONE: of course
 
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: 10 hours?

M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: classic cookies n' cream
 
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: five
 
O - ONE WISH: a boyfriend, who writes a song for me
 
P- PERSON THAT CALLED YOU LAST: @lester19
 
R- REASON TO SMILE? friends, ukulele
 
S- SONG YOU LAST SANG: breakable- ingrid michaelson
 
T- TIME YOU WOKE UP: 9:00
 
U- UNDERWEAR COLOUR: black
 
V- VEGETATBLE: artichoke
 
W- WORST HABIT: i let myself become vulnerable

X- X-rays you've had? arch, ankle, knee, lungs, skull, spine
 
Y-years living where you live? 2 and a bit years
 
Z-zodiac sign: cancer
 
RANDOM QUESTIONS:
 
Favourite animal: snow leopard
 
Spell your name without vowels: grc
 
What colour do you wear the most: cream
 
Least favourite colour: highlighter green
 
What song are you listening to: soldier- Gavin Degraw
 
When do you start back at school: i dont even know. dont care.
 
Are you outgoing? heck no.
 
Favourite pair of shoes: black high tops
 
Can you dance: debatable
 
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth: ah yeah
 
Can you whistle: course i can
 
Cross your eyes: yes
 
Walk with your toes curled: who even does that?
 
THE DO'S:
 
Do you believe there is life on other planets? eh not really
 
Do you believe in miracles? Y E S
 
Do you believe in magic? like wizards and witches. psh no.
 
Love at first sight? sort of
 
Do you believe in Santa? i did.
 
Do you like roller coasters? not really
 
Have you ever been on a plane? too many to count
 
Have you ever asked someone out? as a joke
 
Have you ever been asked out by someone? heaaaal no
 
Have you ever been to the ocean? obviously
 
Have you almost drowned in the ocean? no
 
What is the temperature outside? perfect
 
What radio station do you listen to? there are like five different stations that i switch off between
 
What was the last thing you bought? panda express

What was the last thing on TV you watched? the news
 
Who was the last person you took a picture of? @loves-hannah @lester19 and sav
 
Ever really cried your heart out? definitely
 
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder? oh yes
 
Ever cried yourself to sleep? yeah
 
Ever cried over the opposite sex? yes
 
Do songs make you cry? yeah
 
Are you a happy person? some days
 
What is your current hair colour? natural red